You Just Got Skunk'd

Jason Stilker was 15 years old. He wasn't what you'd call a "perfect teen." He would usually get in a fight with his parents every now and then; he barely passed school and sometimes skipped basketball practice to go to the movies. Jason's biggest problem was that he was a slob. His room looked like a bomb/tornado/elephant stampede went off in it. It also smelt moldy. He only took a shower every 4 days. He also rarely brushed his teeth and his favorite foods usually contained onions and garlic.

One day Jason left his house after an argument with his parents about his messy room and left to get lunch at a cheap price. He walked into his favorite Mexican restaurant, ordered 5 burritos, 3 tacos with extra hot sauce, a plate of nachos and refried beans to go. He would usually eat his lunch on a giant rock in the park. As he sat and ate his refried beans, a skinny old woman dressed in a cloak came up to him. "Please youngster, I'm desperate for food, I see that you have a whole buffet, may I be spared a bite?" Jason looked down at her with disgust. "This is my food that I bought with my own money! If you're to poor to buy your own food, then that's your problem you old hag!" "Now go away and beg to some other sucker who will be stupid enough to spare you their food!" And with that extremely rude comment, Jason grabbed his bag of food and left to go eat somewhere else.

As Jason left, the old woman smirked, "You act rude to an old woman like that and you're going to regret it!" She pulled out an old book from her cloak and began to chant.

Jason sat down at the park bench and ate his fill of burritos, tacos, nachos, and refried beans, he had completely forgotten about the woman. Afterwards, he got up and started to take the long way home from the park through the woods. He knew his mom would forget about their argument if he was away from home for more than an hour. As he walked through the woods his stomach began to growl. Jason shrugged it off and continued walking. After a few minutes, his stomach growled again, louder this time. "Oh man, I shouldn't have eaten all of those…" He stopped and stared at his hand. His hand was covered with black fur. His stomach rumbled again and he broke into a sweat. His fingernails grew into claws and his hands changed into paws. Black fur started to grow up his arms. "Ohhh my god!" Jason's stomach gurgled again and he felt really hot. His shoes were growing excruciatingly tight. He removed his shirt, "Ohhhh GOD!" His chest was covered in white fur and black fur was growing on his sides. He stared at his furry stomach until it grumbled again. He felt black fur grow on his ears and on his face which then stretched out into a snout. "My-my face!" Jason's nose had turned pink and stubby and his teeth had sharpened to a point. His socks and shoes burst open to reveal his feet were like his hands, pawed, clawed and covered with black fur. The fur grew down his back and then he felt his pants tighten as a bump formed near his hindquarters. "Ahhhh! My pants!" With a snapping sound, his pants and underwear burst from the pressure and fell to the ground, revealing a long, black furry tail with a white stripe streaked across it. His hair receded into his head and the fur grew down his legs and it was over. Jason Stilker had become a teenage anthro skunk.  

"Ugggh." Jason's stomach was gurgling again, but this time it was hurting him. He looked at his new skunk body but found no new changes were happening to him. He grabbed his stomach and went on the ground on his knees. The Mexican buffet he had eaten was bubbling in his stomach. "What's happening to my…?" Suddenly Jason's tail shot out and he let out a massive skunk butt blast from under his tail. The smell was so bad that the birds roosting in the trees passed out and fell to the ground. Jason looked at the unconscious birds and blushing fiercely, he ran away. This was the worst day of Jason's life. First he had turned into a skunk, and then he discovered he was a killer gas bomb.

The following happened over a period of a month.

When Jason got home, his parents were horrified and didn't recognize him at first. After explaining what happened, Jason's parents made him a tomato juice bath and he needed to soak in one for two hours every other day. Beans, broccoli, cabbage and other such foods were banned for the Stilker household. He also cleaned his room (the moldy smell was from a sandwich hidden under his bed) since nobody (not even he) could stand the smell of his room with him in it. He bought plug-in air fresheners and sprays the joint with Febreze every other hour. Also somehow the media found out about the teenage skunk and one lone Saturday and the family spent the entire day trying to get news reporters and paparazzi out of their house. His parents always had a sad look on their faces (or a look of disgust if Jason farted.)

Jason was also expelled from school. On his first day back as a skunk, all of his friends left him and everyone ridiculed him and wouldn't stop bothering him. He had to sit in the back row next to the open window because of his awful smell. Not to mention he wasn't wearing any clothes. All of the attention was making Jason nervous. Jason's skunk gut didn't like nervous. Jason's stomach gurgled and he felt a skunk bubble traveling down. He tried to ignore it, but his stomach was growling more fiercely. He raised his hand and hastily asked his teacher if he could go. He ran out of the room with the other kids whispering. "Oh boy, he's gonna stink up the bathroom!" "I wouldn't want to be the janitor who has to unstink the room where that skunk kid blows." Jason ran through the hallways, holding his butt and trying to make it to the bathroom. He tripped and rolled on the ground and accidentally skunk farted – into the air ventilation vent on the wall. The smell traveled thought the school via the air vents leading to the school to be closed for 5 days to air the place out. Jason was expelled and had to go to online schooling, since no other person can be in the same room with him for more than two hours. Needless to say, Jason had a pretty rough time adjusting to his new life.

The following happened after that one month.

Jason was home alone one night after dinner. His parents had left to see a late-night movie. Jason was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a magazine when he heard the door being kicked down. Out of instinct, Jason hid under his table and curled into a ball. He snuck a quick peek and saw three men in ski masks holding guns. They were out to rob his house. "Yo, Boss," one of them said, "It really smells in here!" "Shut up," said the biggest member of the bunch, "Just take anything valuable and we'll be outta here in a jiffy!" Jason was really nervous. When Jason gets nervous, well you should already know what happens. Suddenly Jason's stomach gurgled fiercely, and a massive fart bubble started traveling down his gut. "Hey boss," said one of the robbers, "Did you just hear something? Like a gurgling sound." Everyone quieted down. "Please," Jason said to himself, holding his stomach and covering his butt with his tail. "Not now!" If Jason let it rip, the robbers would surely find him and probably would harm him. "Ah, it was probably nothing," said the boss and the trio continued to empty the joint of its valuables.   

Jason was sweating fiercely, he was curled in a ball, holding in his giant gas bubble. He wrapped his hands around his stomach tighter and hoped that the robbers wouldn't find him. His stomach gurgled again and the bubble had reached its end. Just then, one of the robbers lifted up the tablecloth and surprised Jason. It was their biggest mistake of the night. The moment the robber shouted "Hey what's this thing?" Jason lost his guard. His tail shot up and he accidentally released the most massive skunk fart he had ever released so far.

The first robber got it right in his face and he instantly passed out. The other two robbers came into the kitchen to see what was wrong, smelt the skunk'd air and soon they passed out and fell to the ground, just like the first robber. Jason stared at the robbers totally embarrassed at what had just happened again. Suddenly he realized that he had stopped a band of thieves! He called the police (after spraying his house down with air freshener and Febreze) and stuck his butt at the robbers in case they woke up. When the police arrived, he discovered that the robbers were an international band of thieves called "The Shadow Men" who were responsible for crimes all over the USA. They once stole a copy of the Mona Lisa! The police thanked Jason and sent the still unconscious criminals to the jailhouse. That was when Jason had a moment of clarity. When Jason's parents got home, he told them that he was going on a long trip across the USA. He packed his bags, and rented a motorcycle and went on his road trip to fulfill his clarity.

Five months later…

Jason's parents were watching their son on the news again. Jason has been using his "skunk powers" to fight crime! In just two months he had made twenty-eight criminals in three different states smell what justice is like. And Jason's "justice" smelt like rotten eggs, pizza crust, apples, sandwiches, mayo, and potato as well as burning rubber, raw sewage and anything found in the monkey cages at the zoo. Current status: In five months he had traveled from New York all the way to Indiana. Jason's latest endeavor involved a mysterious man dropping in through garage ceilings and stealing expensive cars. A couple hired Jason to wait in their expensive sports car in hopes of catching the burglar. Jason ate three cans of beans while he waited. When the criminal dropped from the ceiling and broke into the car a few hours later, BOOM! He was hit with a skunk butt blast Jason had been holding in for three hours. The criminal instantly lost consciousness and fell to the ground. Jason was being interviewed for the hundredth time. This is what he said: "Life can throw anything at you (especially if you act like a total (donkey)hole sometimes.) Nonetheless, you should accept who you are and do what you need to do in the world."

Meanwhile back in New York, an old lady sat at her house watching the interview. She smiled at the boy she hadn't seen for six months. He had learned his lesson.